SCARS

I am insecure.  There, I said it.  I am insecure and not happy about it.  The last couple of posts that I have written have been about love, a new me, and so on.  However, deep in my soul there is a longing to be accepted, loved, to be "the cool kid."  And lets face it, when you work for the church and play the organ, you are rarely the "cool kid."  But, I love my job, I love my friend, and most of all, I love my family.

In the midst of being sick I have pushed people out, not on purpose, but by being needy. I so badly want to be around people and do for them, that I didn't realize that I was pushing them away or asking too much of them.  People need their own time, their own space, their own time away from me!  WOW.  I can't believe that, but people do need time away from me.  It's a hard lesson, but one I have had to learn. 

It's all part of the scars of life.  We have heard this trite saying before; "I count it all as blessing."  Do you? Do I?  Heck no.  Blessing? Really?  I hate scars!  As a kid I cried every time I fell and would bleed.  The worst scar was when I was running up the outside steps and fell into the brick portion of the steps.  I went to the hospital.  I still have a scar on my forehead. Ouch!

We have all scars in our life we are not proud of. I am insecure.  Maybe you are too.  Maybe you don't like your weight, or maybe your looks, whatever it is, we all have "that thing!"  But there is hope.  We can find an accountability partner.  We can write. We can pray.  Maybe we can do all these.  Whatever it is, there is hope. 

Romans 5:5 says: And hope does not disappoint, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Today begins Lent.  Lent is the time of self reflection.  Some say it's a time to deny thyself.  But I say give to thyself.  Give to your self hope.  Look forward to the end result all the while enjoying the journey. You see, today on Ash Wednesday we remind ourselves of our scars. But, the scars do not define us!  This too is a hard lesson.  Think of it this way; if you wrote your scars (sins) on an old fashioned black board and then spray the board with water, all the chalk would wash away.  That's what Christ's hope (love) does for us. 

I HOPE there is a time when I feel less insecure.  I HOPE for you there is a time when you feel........ (you fill in the blank).  But if that time is not soon, remember there is hope in the promise of God's love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness. 

So go forth and live in the hope of the Lenten journey and the promise of the resurrection!

MAKE THE JOURNEY............EXPERIENCE THE GLORY!